ROYTERS recently learned that not enough people have dictionaries. ROYTERS also learned that those who should have access to dictionaries do not know how to use them. Case in point, Michele Bachman. At the Republican Party presidential candidate debate (with more than a year before the election, are these really necessary?), Ms. Bachman received a question about whether she is a submissive wife. While some have criticized this as being unfair, I think that her response points to a larger issue. Namely, that the crazy bi-atch can’t fracking read.
When pressed to explain what “submission” means to her and her husband (um, hello, it’s a word that has defined meanings. That’s why we have a dictionary. For someone who claims to know a lot about history, you should know that about dictionaries), she said that it means “respect.” Wow, that’s interesting. I had no idea that submissive, a word which means, according to the dictionary:
of, tending towards, or indicating submission, humility, or servility
actually is the same thing as “respect,” which, as you know, means:
Given that these two words are the same, there’s no reason not to interchange them. When the wife and I argue about things, I can now say, “Woman, you better respect to me and do what I say or I’ll shake you good!” Also, when I hear Aretha Franklin blasting out “RESPECT,” I can sing along and say “All I’m asking is for a little submission!” And, most important, I now know that slave owners weren’t having their slaves beaten into submission, they were having them beaten into respect. Always good to learn things.
Thanks, Michelle, for clearing that up and confirming, yet again, that you’re not a total moron!