Royters News Service: First In Falsity

Sonia Sotomayor Admits to Being a Nazi Loving Baby Killing Pro-Kim Jon Il Puppy Hating Kitty Eater

Posted by royters on July 17, 2009

Most agree that Sonia Sotomayor’s confirmation hearings went well and that the judge made no mistakes that would derail her nomination (hey, did you know that she’s an Hispanic woman that grew up in the Bronx?  Are you sure she’s not J-Lo?) despite attempts to do so by the Republicans.

However, the bag broke as the hearings concluded.  Sotomayor left the Senate through a back alley and was caught on tape making some startling admissions to an aide.  While pulling out a pack of cigarettes and taking a pull from a bottle of  Tequila, Sotomayor cackled, “I can’t fucking believe those dopes in the Senate bought that shit about me being mainstream!  I’ll show ‘em now, they’ve got no idea what the fuck they’re in for!  I’m a Nazi loving, baby killing, pro-Kim Jong Il, puppy hating, kitty eater!  I’m going to wreck this fucking country, mother fucker!  White people, get ready for the poor house, it’s time for MEXICAN SUPER FRIENDS!  It’s on, bitches!  BLACK-BROWN POWER!”

2 Responses to “Sonia Sotomayor Admits to Being a Nazi Loving Baby Killing Pro-Kim Jon Il Puppy Hating Kitty Eater”

  1. Wow, when did Rush Limbaugh join the staff?

  2. royters said

    Malach:
    Dr. Murk’s always been on the staff.

    Also, the reason I’m making fun of the Democrats lately is b/c there’s no one else to make fun of. The Republicans are so pathetic right now that I don’t even want to waste time making fun of them.

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