Spears Keeps Obama Away

Britney Spears is managing to stay away from one of her most problematic sidekicks, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama. Senator Obama, who was with Spears during her most difficult moments, and who many consider to be the root of her problems, is attempting to get back in her life right now. Ms. Spears insists that she has turned a corner and wants nothing to do with Obama. “I ain’t going back to that old life that I used to have, ya’ll!” Ms. Spears said while ignoring her children during a Social Services visit, “I ain’t going to be out late smoking dope and leaving my kids with K-Fed while having sex with strangers in my pool, ya’ll! I’m going to start singing my music again, ya’ll, and get back to what made me happy, ya’ll. That’s right, ya’ll, Britney is coming back, ya’ll!”

Barack Obama had not comment on the issue. It is possible that he will start hanging out with his other partner in crime, Paris Hilton.