D is for…Douchebags No I mean D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

MAJOR BREAKING NEWS:

A Major League Baseball player’s wife, Mrs. Cynthia Rod, has filed for divorce because of her husband’s, A-Rod, infidelity.

SHOCKER!!! In all of my time in journalism (four weeks), I’m shocked that a baseball player is being accused of “extra-marital affairs and other marital misconduct.” A year ago A-Rod was having his rod polished by a stripper. So there must be have been a final straw for Mrs. Rod.

The tabloids have been saying that Madonna, the Material Girl is the cause of the divorce not because of a sexual affair but for her brainwashing of A-Rod in kabbalah.

After hours of digging & some info from sources that shall remain nameless, Royters has the truth of Madonna & A-Rod’s relationship. As a little boy A-Rod didn’t dream of being the highest paid Major League Baseball player. His dreams were filled like some many other little boys as him growing up being a dentist with attractive stripper like hygienists. So his Little-A-Rod’s interest in Madonna is totally medical.

Mrs. Rod needs to stop throwing mud on Madonna’s wholesome image. She needs to learn to CHANGE to having gap teeth, massive veins, & being a kabbalah practitioner. Maybe she could have saved her marriage from strippers & Madonna.