Manny just being Manny?

ROYTERS SPORTS NEWS – Fenway Park, Boston Ma.

As I am here waiting to question The Red Sox Baseball Ops regarding the latest incident of “Manny just being Manny”, I am about to blow a case wide open on the Sox slugger.  I reveal here for the first time the information I have come across, that will change the attitude of the all the Manny apologists, or maybe not . .

So, I got off the T at the Kenmore stop, and began the short walk to Fenway, fiddling with my ROYTERS press credentials.  As I took my walk down Brookline Ave, and about to turn onto Yawkey Way, some small guy in a trechcoat called out . . “PSSST, Malach the Merciless”.

I was a leery, 90 degree weather humid, short guy in a trenchcoat, but I figured he was close enough to cast Tasha’s Uncontrollable Hideous Laughter on him if he was a Catholic Preist and make my escape.  I headed over the figure, who stood outside The Cask and Flagon.

“Mr. Merciless, from the ROYTERS News Service?”

I nodded in assent.

“Mr. Merciless, I have some information, your might be very interested in, let us step inside and have a drink.”  He said with a slight smile.

“I don’t drink, bucko, and how do I know you won’t try anything?”

“Fine, fine, take this.” he said, handing me a sweat stained manila envelope that smelled slightly of body odor.  I looked at the envelope, and it was written on the front in the return address “4th Grade, Greendale School, Franklin Park NJ 08852″.  I continued to read the mailing address “Malach the Merciless, ROYTERS News Service, WordPress.com”.

“What is this -” I began, but the figure had disappeared.

I went into the Cask and Flagon and ordered my usual, a Manhattan cocktail, and opened the envelope.  Out spilled pictures, and a 300 page manifesto type of document.  The pictures were strange, they were all crime scene photos, photos of Manny and his moments, and then there was one strange photo . .  Manny Ramirez as . .

Wow, that absolutley blew my mind . . . I began to read the document enclosed, but it was in Spanish.  Luckily Malach is good friends with Ah Puch, who translated the text for me.

The 300 pages rambled on a bit about hitting the baseball, it’s kinship with murdering young people, codes and ciphers, and it relationship to running out pop flies and selling gas grills.

In the summary, the writer goes on to admit that he is Manny Rameriz, AKA, The Zodiac Killer, and until as time as Latinos everywhere rise up and hit for the cycle, the killngs will eventual continue when he gets back around to it.

I was floored . . Manny, the Zodiac Killer . . I can’t wait for this press conference.  I ordered my 8th Manhattan and just stared at this picures some: Dead people, Manny’s 500th, blood, Manny taking a swipe at Youkilis, bullet holes in head, Manny raise his hands after a homerun, it all made sense now. 

The press conference is about to start.

I am Malach, just being Malach.